I started this blog nearly a year ago. When I started it, I had big bold ideas that I wanted to write about and where I wanted to take this blog. As you can see, I've only updated maybe once a month, if that? Yeah, life got in the way at parts but the main reason is that it wasn't a priority to me.
So thank you to those past and present who read this blog. Thank you for all the feedback. And thank you past Laura for setting this blog up. It's been nice.
I started this blog for the wrong reasons. I see this now. I was trying to prove something to other people. Their opinion is what mattered most because I was trying to "sell" myself to them, I wanted their approval that I was a good person, I was doing something that they found as an attractive trait, and that this good would wipe out any bad that may come along. They could turn a blind eye, I guess.
But the thing is, the wrong reasons can only push you so far- the rest falls down to you. And that's what's happened. It's fallen down to me to carry this blog on, this small tiny part of the internet, with the big, bold ideas I had.
Except the difference is me nearly 12 months ago isn't me today. Obviously, everyone changes. There's no doubt about that but I've put the work in to have the core values of the person that I actually like. I can hand of heart say that I like myself now.
I don't define how I view myself on other people's opinions. If they like me, great! If not, sad for them. I'm human, I've made mistakes and will continue to do so but overall, I am fucking great person.
Don't get us wrong- I still love writing, I still love the buzz it gives me, and I still love the English language. But this blog? It reminds me of the girl who started it 12 months ago. The person who wanted to prove something. And I'm not that person anymore. This person is and will only be defined by me. No fucks given.
Since I've let the old me go, I've decided to let this blog go too. I'll no longer be going to be updating this blog. I don't know if I'll give it a facelift and come back to it so it feels fresh, or delete it altogether. Who the fucks know.
I'm going to continue writing but I'm going to write elsewhere for now. And I'm doing it for all the right reasons.
So thank you to those past and present who read this blog. Thank you for all the feedback. And thank you past Laura for setting this blog up. It's been nice.
Yours faithfully,
Laura
xoxo
